i must be bored

i just google imaged myself – and got all this!

dsbj

dear sweet baby jesus am i tired! it was a long day. my neck is killing me! oy! i sound like an old old woman. i am getting a zit. this is like a teen ager. my mother always used to say (and she was probably younger than i am now at the time) :

“there is no justice! i have grey hair AND pimples!”

i know what ya, mean, ma!

work was actually ok, just a few minor annoyance that are par for the course. like, oh, i don’t know, OB calling a STAT c-section to where i am the free body (who was just unlocking a gurney to go down the hall and start a case), RUN upstairs (STAT C/SX = <30″ decision to incision) to find….. nobody. the room not opened, the patient sitting there with her family. just kinda nutty! i guess a small failure to communicate…

but, all in all, it was a fine day. other than the now 10# i am up since the take steroids and don’t run or row edict came down. i try to remind myself to take deep cleansing breaths and recognize that if i weren’t eating coldstone ice cream like all the time, it wouldn’t be an issue. hello?

also. i have a crush. it is a growing crush. it is a crush that intially began to brew probably more than a year ago, but now we are actually friends and stuff. of course, as is part of my intrnal make up, he doesn’t even live in my fucking time zone (sorry for the profanity). go fig. but we share many common interests. and are of similar age and did i mention he is cute. like cutey cute cute? and actually he has been a super big help to me over the past several months and doesn’t even know it. and he sent me a present! the. best. pin. ever.

it is somewhat maddening as the last thing i need now or ever is too fall in mad crush with some guy 8,000,000 miles away!!! what good does that do anyone??? and by anyone, i mean ME. our paths are going to cross in RL in september- the end of my post op recovery time – and i am looking forward to it madly! madly!! seriously, alot.

i guess i should go to bed. i am off tomorrow. getting my hair did, may indulge in some beauty treatments at the med spa to negate the humongous body loathing i am going through at the moment. and i actually have some pain medicine. let’s see if it helps…

 

did i mention this guy is reaally reeealllly cute???!!??? DO YOU KNOW I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU??!!

you know you’re a nurse when

 1) the front of your scrubs reads “Nurses… here to  save your ass, not kiss it!”
 2) you occasionally park in the space with the ”physicians only” sign… and knock it over.
 3) you believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
4) you recognize that you can’t cure stupid.
5) you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.
6) you believe there’s a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.
7) you believe that saying “it can’t get any worse” causes it to get worse just to show you it can.

8 ) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom..
9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one.
10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
12) you’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
13) you’ve ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say “I’m afraid of shots.” or with 47 tattoos.
14) you’ve ever placed a bet on someone’s blood alcohol level.
15) you’ve told a confused patient that your name is that of a coworker and to call if they need help.

16) your bladder can expand to the size of a winebago’s water tank.
17) you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
18 ) you believe that not all patients are annoying…. some are unconscious.
19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
20) you don’t get excited about blood, unless it’s your own.
21) you’ve sworn to have “do not resuscitate” tattooed on your chest. Soon.
22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.
23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
25) you believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.
26) you believe that “shallow gene pool” should be a recognized diagnosis.
27) you believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
28 ) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase “Wow, it’s really quiet, isn’t it?

29) you have ever wanted to write a book entitled  “Suicide: getting it right the first time.”
30) you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say “I have no idea how that got stuck in there.”
31) you’ve had to leave a patient’s room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

32) you know that the longer the list of allergies, the crazier the patient. and why is no one EVER allergic to demerol??

lol

 

this time, we didn’t forget the gravy

thanks to my dear friend, scott, for sending me this link a while back… its me and my bro’s FAVORITE cartoon!!!!!

 

 

if you feel like you haven’t got 6:35 to spare, PLEASE PLEASE click and go to 6:25!! you won’t be sorry!!

odds and ends

• getting a good list going, i think, of things needed to prepare for the upcoming surgery and the following 6 weeks off work and probably 4 weeks on NO DRIVING. things like: get cash from ATM, stock up on non-perishables (diet pepsi, toilet paper, dog food, laundry detergent), get all my prescriptions for post op ahead of time, library books, etc…
• re: the weekend before last and the cute poolboy/vomit covered crime scene – OK. riddle me this batman – this guy has been calling me for 2 weeks. all the time. i have actually barely talked with him as he never leaves a message and i am a screener. and he always shows as “private number”. and there is somewhat of a language barrier issue i guess as i asked him his #, wrote down what i thought he said, but it wasn’t a working #. i since had HIM write it down, and none of the numbers he wrote remotely coincided with what i had thought he said. ok. so he has come by the apartment a couple times and has been asking me out. actually, it’s been kind of cute and not scary stalky. i mentioned he is BEYOND hot, right? so yesterday, i slunk to the gym – i am still feeling like a bloated tomato, to get on the elliptical. he poked his head in as he was at the pool and apparently has an eagle eye for unshowered bloated tomato girls. i said i’d be out there later. he knocked on my door in a bit to see when i was coming out there. when i came out, he came and sat by me – and – thinks i am very cute, even in my bloated tomato state! ok! it’s all good! so we hang. we chat and flirt. he invites me out last night, but i demur, explaining (for the 11th time) that i am a big tomato, not feeling really great right now, what about next weekend. mostly, i just want to go out with him and the fabulous euro people when i feel foxy, my neck is not hurting and i am physically and emotionally prepared to party all night. he walks my dog with me. gives me a kiss so long. calls me (which i answered) on the road to meet his friends. calls me on the way back from meeting his friends. wants to come over. just for a few minutes. i say fine. answer the door in ugly pjs and a blanket. he is cute! wants to neck, i again am like, its not a good time. then he wants to ask me something I HATE THIS PART

 he wants to ask if i am dating anyone. i say, not really right now. he says he is. ok i say. and sit there. he asks 17 times if this is ok. i say sure, yeah whatever. THEN he says that he and i can never MARRY because i am not jewish. and he apparently keeps kosher. i mention that my dinner was a delicious filet with gorgonzola on top. he says this is gross ( i hope that wasn’t weirdly antagonistic of me!!). he is weirdly hesitant. i say…..um, are you married??? he says no, but he has a fiance. um yeah. ok, well, if you have a fiancee, i think we probably should not be talking and flirting in such a way! he sort of nods and then he left and wanted to kiss me goodbye.

so – donna and i are taking bets on how long till he knocks on my door again….

• lots of blogging and computer stuff to do today. feeling ok. unbelievably to me, i actually have taken all of the 8,000,000 pain pills my doctor gave me two weeks ago. still taking these muscle relaxers three times a day. steroids did nothing (but the 10 pounds) to relievediscomfort. hopefully they will refill said pain medicine and not insist i bump up my surgery date. i figure, as long as i am not losing function, i am just going to treat discomfort with drugs as much as possible to just make it for 2 more weeks
• i have some new crushes and i think i might be driven to make a list…