and i am not terribly shocked by this fact – i have a semi eventful day tomorrow (today, now, actually):

• have been to the vet with maggie. she’s due for a teeth cleaning, which involves a general anesthetic, and this is going to be combined with a head to toe(s) body shave down – given that her last ejection from the groomer was mid hairdo and she has the craziest haircut ever right now. and she’s matted. and she can barely see between her overly long dog bangs and gunky hair around her eyes. its bordering on neglectful, seriously. she also has been started on “doggie prozac” aka clomicalm. this is touted as a medication for separation anxiety, which wouldn’t exactly be maggie’s diagnosis, as far as i am concerned, but its the closest thing to a mood altering drug out there and is supposed to NOT turn her into a drooling lump. we are on day 4, it’ll probably take a good month to assess if it is going to be of help in her fear/aggression issues. as an anesthesia provider, i know that anesthesia is safe, but also know that “no one” is as anal as i, and i just want her well monitored. i have confidence at the vet office we are going to. i drop her off at ~8, they’ll call me in the afternoon when she’s done and awake – hell, she’ll be 10 years younger (where do i sign up)…
• i then am returning to my surgeons office for a follow up. its been just over 6 months since my surgery, and, though i wouldn’t say i am having a setback, and i am generally very pleased with my results, lately, my “need” for the muscle relaxants and pain meds have increased, despite trying to be active and RTC tylenol. mid january, something seemed to crick in my neck and i am back to coating myself in ben gay patches every week. the surgeons office has continued refilling my meds, i had called them about that – i think mid november – and they reassured me that, yes, that’s what i should be doing, but, to my abject horror, i put in for a refill a week ago, and realized i had taken quite a bit more medicine over like 3 weeks then i had in a while and i worry that they now think i am a druggie. i worry that i am a druggie! (my meds are potentially addicting – i am sure both physically and/or psychologically – but non-narcotic). the pills don’t make me “feel” high, and thats no excuse for pounding them, which i don’t think i do, but i do think that since i don’t “feel” drugged, i don’t have qualms about taking them and maybe thats a problem too. so, given that i work with and adore my surgeon, i have a terrible feeling in my gut (my catholic guilt likes to pop up from time to time) that i am in “trouble”. in fact, its great that i am being seen, i suspect i may be referred to a pain specialist, which will be fine, so long as it is not the same practice who gave me prozac at the height of my discomfort last march when it turned out i had a severely herniated disc….
• as i lay awake, dozing in and out, i’m making mental lists of podcasting topics and emails i should be sending and organizing ASAP for the show. i have just brewed some sleepy time tea, taken 2 benedryl and am going to return to bed. i’ve got a note book there and may jot down some things, but i don’t want to continue to sit here at the computer or i will never get to sleep and completely LOOK the part of crazy, drug addict woman at the doctors tomorrow.
• valentines day is this weekend. my guy doesn’t regulary read my blog, though i wont say much about what i have done/planned for him, but i am anxious about his surprises and if he will like them and what our future may be and if i am capable of a long term relationship. in the words of stuart smaley “i’m afraid i’ll die homeless and peniless and 20# overweight”

but that’s just stinkin’ thinkin’! so time to get back in bed and at least try to rest. i’m off for 2 days now, work 2, then the weekend and the big VD….. have to clean and make this place presentable as the guy is coming to my abode for the first time. OMG WHAT IF WE ONLY LIKE EACH OTHER WITH THE HUBBUB AND DISTRACTION OF WDW????????

 

i don’t think that is the case at all, but, you know, i always need something to fret about.