not giving in


i have had a really super busy week and the business will continue through the middle of next week. i am going into work for a couple hours today and am on call for 24 hours starting tomorrow morning. i have MANY blog posts in my mind for ALL (that is sad) of my blogs – and perhaps a new project…. which may be good as, though i by no means have some giant internet presence, clearly i am not anonymous in any of my online projects and, as hits increase, the more self editing comes into effect which is somewhat the opposite of why i even started doing this to begin with.

but no worries, have lots of things to post, its 8,000,000 degrees out side (and i did do my run!). i would love to go lay outside in the sun, maybe there will still be sun on the pool area when i get home around 530.

generally, things are going very well, but i notice i am having moments of anxiety that are quelled only with carbs and that is a problem. body wise (and this is a series of posts i keep starting and scrapping) i feel good and i think i look good but i have such body dysmorphia that i can feel it creeping in and out and it seems like fitting into a certain pair of pants or something is slowly becoming my barometer of all being well with the world.

some personal things are wonky, but coming into line. i feel more open and less… pissed? but still i am human and oh so imperfect. recently though i feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders – so freeing!!!

ug. they are talking about those monkeys that control robotic arms with their brains (*nobody seems to mention that i imagine that involves drilling into the monkey brain. no more fun for monkey) – ick.

my current favorite shower /running song. of course, i picture me in the angelina super hero roll…

i have to stop eating cous cous. seriously. ok. this devolving. i am out.


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