this is a total vent

i hurt. i don’t know what i expect. i for sure do NOT hurt in the same way and amount that i did after surgery, or even before surgery exactly. and there are so many people – and not poor orphans in…. i don’t know… like kasmikastan (i made that up) that are way worse off and living with pain every day a hundred times worse than mine.

and yet – probably NOT helping, is me sitting here, at the computer – just one more thing… just one more email…. just wanna work on the show for a couple more minutes….

its not bad pain like right after surgery – that was a 5-8 out of a 10 scale about the whole time i was in da big house. here, i really haven’t been above a 5. (and i just wanna finish this post before i go plop in the chair AGAIN) – i guess it is muscle spasm? worst right between my shoulder blades along my spine (could somebody rub that, please???). and then down my right arm.

BUT my surgeon offered me a different muscle relaxer but i had just refilled my robaxin so i said no. BUT my surgeon offered my a vicodin refill, but i said no because i feel guilty as shit taking all the fucking pain meds i am taking at almost week 3 (i have darvocet – i’m not insane!! but i just keep taking it and its not helping, mommy!!!!). BUT i don’t feel like i am doing much but sitting here right now probably not helping….

and i did go to see wall*e today – and then i felt all sad. very cute movie, liked it more than i expected to – i feel like an old old woman. arg! i have to go lay down. i am really fine, i just hurt! i assume this is alllllllll normal.


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