it’s not that i’m feeling “grinchy”…

it’s just that i’m feeling un-christmas-y. i felt christmas-y at disneyworld, sorta, i mean surrounded by some of the ornaments and all, it’s just that, like most years, i am not really with family on christmas or whatnot. and though last year i had a sort of burst of energy to drag out my very fabulous white christmas tree with ever changing light display, this year i look about my piles of crap amassed everywhere… meh! what a mess!

it’s been a great year, or rather, it’s ending up to be a great year, and i must say that i am somewhat embarrassed to be receiving xmas cards and gifts almost everyday from family and friends. i say embarrassed becasue i am so damn bad about getting organized and planning for christmas that i have all but given up on doing xmas cards and can barely get things out when ordered online to the few folks i exchange gifts with regularly. it just seems to sneak up on you, christmas does. it’s like since all the crap goes up in the stores bfore thanksgiving and all, i kind of tune it out because i think “oh, it’s months till christmas!” when i got home from my vacation, i remarked to my pal donna that it was like 3 weeks till christmas and she said, um, its next thursday. fuck.

so, on the eve of the eve, i’m kind of having a little pity party melt down. i was SUPPOSED to be doing better at being in contact with my family and friends – whom i love! i was SUPPOSED to be not flailing about last minute for remembrances for those people who mean a lot to me. i was SUPPOSED to have lost that effing 10 pounds by now – wait..that’s for another list…

so i am sitting here staring at my computer, ready to throw it against a wall – it’s running so damn slow and annoys the hell out of me and i am sure it’s the result of  random internet crap on my computer that i could somehow remove, but defragging and emptying files don’t seem to help. i have a few days off about this holiday and a laundry list of honey-dos (yes, i am the honey) and i am doing none of it.

i should be running 82 miles right now! arg!

oh, final random thought – doesn’t every random VW bug you have ever sat in – regardless of it’s age and it’s owner – smell exactly the same? kind of plastic-y and diesel-y and VW-y?

i tried out some punctuation for you today. you’re welcome.


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