so… it’s a lazy sunday, what can i say. i am completely laying around and watching a weeks worth of tivo’d shows and beating myself up for NOT being, like, running or something right now.
sigh. i have a fantabulous trip coming up a week from today – woot! very excited!!!! however, there are still some things i am struggling with. i continue to beat myself up over my post surgical weight gain and my inability to take action to fix it. its brought more to the fore as i try to pack for a trip to warmer climes. on top of that, i am still having pain in my neck/shoulder/back.
i will go to my second appt with my pain doc tuesday. i was very optimistic after our first meeting – the doc and facility are very nice – but the proposed regimen has really not made any appreciable difference in my book. i want to feel better. i want to not wake up and think “oh, my shoulder/neck are achy”. i still think this is doable. but my stepped back rehab exercises are perhaps making me a bit more uncomfortable, and i don’t think this nerve pain specific medication is doing anything.
that whole situation does indeed leave me down and, though ain’t nothing wrong with my body from C7 down, instead of walking, running or something, i just feel kind of defeated and cranky about the ongoing discomfort. and slightly worried that this could be it given that my neck injury was fairly significant and went on for longer than i knew, increasing the potential for long term symptoms…
but that’s a shadow fear. i don’t really believe that’s where i am definitely headed, but its my worst case scenario. so, i sit here and hope my honey won’t think me a huge cow this sunday and that i can please just fit into all my clothes.
and not eat everything between now and then.