beauty tips for surgery

when having surgery:

  •  if your hair is not firmly and securely attached via roots into your scalp or a recently tightened weave (no judgement), why don’t you just leave that hair hat of yours on your night stand, or perhaps in your over night bag? a fetching scarf, bandanna or knit cap is a stylish way to hide a multitude of de-wigged hair sins, but rest assured that when you lie down and i get you off to sleep, your mop top is not on your head, but in the surgical bonnet on the pillow. and though i will try my hardest to maintain your dignity and keep that in place for you, your “look” as it were, is a bit further down on my priority list. i’ve got stuff like vital signs, a secure airway and delivering the actual anesthesia a bit higher up.
  • ditto heavy make up. and by ditto, i mean, not today, k? i won’t deny anyone some concealer, cheek stain, a lash curler, perhaps lipgloss (when i had surgery last august, i made my friend and anesthetist hold my chapstick for me till i woke up), but if there is ANYTHING that could smudge on your face, it will, my friend, be smudged. Natch pancake make up. Once a person is asleep, I must secure any airway devices to the lip with tape. I also cover the eye lids with tape to prevent corneal abrasions. Tape won’t stick to greasy OR powdery skin. Since I lack running water In the OR, I actually have to use an alcohol swan to attempt to clear a path of attachment. That tape eventually comes off. So does the inch thick layer of orange make up you applied, as well as several gummy eyelashes. we do tell you not to put anything on your face, don’t we?
  • remove all your clothes please may not seem like a beauty tip. Especially if your surgery doesn’t seem to be In the panty area. But let me ask you – do you want to run the risk of heading back home commando due to the urine scented panties now In a bag In your purse that some discharge nurse had to hand to you on your way out the door? Sometimes accident happen and we don’t want you to be embarrased. What happens In the OR should stay In the OR.
  • please PLEASE don’t lie or misstate things such as dentures etc… because family members are in the room and your hubby of 64 years doesn’t know you wear dentures. i mean, i get that some people don’t want to be seen without such things and i TOTALLY respect that. but ya gotta fess up when we are out of earshot of family or at a time when you are alone with a nurse or whatever. i am happy to not have you have to reveal all your secrets when you don’t want to or it would embarrass you. BUT IF YOU DON’T TELL ME THERE IS SOMETHING LOOSE AND POTENTIALLY BREAKABLE IN YOUR MOUTH AND I BREAK OR LOSE THEM, IT PROLLY AIN’T GONNA GET FIXED OVERNIGHT. then where would you be?

1 Comment

  1. andiethegirl

    This was great!! hahahaa

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: